Get-Rich-Quick Schemes!
Money-making Strategies
- Find a place easily acceptable to hold the pageant. Choose a date to set things up. You’ll need TONs of chairs for viewers to sit on. May or may not need some carpet as a walkway for the women to walk on. A long table for a judges also looks nice.
- Hand out flyers where all the women are at –Your high school, the beach, wherever.
- Charge everyone a $50 application fee –Change the amount to fit your greed.
- Give everyone a month to build up for the excitement. During this time, make sure you go around to everyone, talking about it like it’ll be the last thing they do before they die.
Creating a show about teenage Americans you’ll need to meet the following criteria :
- Rich
- White
- Suburbanite
- Add a few minorities to show America’s racial diversity
- Must have romance issues
- Must have trouble-maker everyone loves to hate
- Main characters must have some type of internal conflict/self esteem issue.
- Must have punk/ska/emo/Sarah McLaughlin music, because Rap/Hip Hop music is regarded by people of a lighter skin tone as something for minorities, and is only occasionally added as background music for dancing settings such as prom, or night clubs.
Caucasians prefer music with a singer that fits these following criteria:- pre-pubescent
- whining/voice-cracking/ear-bleeding
- sings about everyone else encroaching upon his freedom or love life, when maybe he should learn to respect the rights of others, but he’s too stuck in his own damn paradigm
*A show about “working” Americans should have music of lighter affair, usually without singing. Also, the setting should be in some office, rather than high school. Everything else applies.*
Becoming a 風水佬（Geomancer/풍수꾼）added: 18Mar 2008
- Be born Asian –preferably Chinese.
- Learn to speak Chinese – Preferably a Southern dialect.
- Mandarin speakers far outnumber speakers of a southern dialect, but those are mainland Chinese, who grew up in Communist China. So they probably don’t know much about religion, or have a clue on what it means to be superstitious. Most overseas Chinese communities where people still practice old traditions speak Cantonese anyways, try that one!
- Read up on Geomancy.
- Chinese books, English books, whatever! It’s all a bunch of guys telling you random stuff you won’t understand anyways! Just get a gist of what they’re talking about, and then try to regurgitate that crap out of your mouth!
- Start your own business! Locate it in Chinatown!
- Nothing spells “legitimately Chinese” to the eyes of a foreigner, than Chinatown! Heck, you just might get some Chinese businesses in on some of your 風水 action too!
- Advertise in a rich white neighborhood, because the whole “feng shui” thing is so chic!
Form your own insurance company!Added: June 9, 2009
- I would go on listing the possibilities of things you can do, but anyone who has insurance already knows